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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749267">The Bee Movie Script, Completely Written By Hand</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chillymango/pseuds/chillymango'>chillymango</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bee Movie (2007)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>script</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:02:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,434</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chillymango/pseuds/chillymango</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A more accurate version of the Bee Movie script, written by hand, with dialogue tags.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Bee Movie Script, Completely Written By Hand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>well i had nothing better to do! please check out this carrd website for downloads!</p><p>website: beemovie.carrd.com</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>NARRATOR<br/>
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yellow, black, yellow, black, yellow, black, yellow, black, yellow, black, yellow, black, oooh, black and yellow! Yeah, let's shake it up a little! </p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Barry! Breakfast is ready!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Coming! Now, hang on a second…<br/>
Hello?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Barry?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Adam?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Can you believe this is happening?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Can't believe it. I'll pick you up.<br/>
Looking sharp.</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Barry, why don't you use the stairs, your father paid good money for those!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Sorry, I'm excited.</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
There's the graduate! We're very proud of you son. And a perfect report card! All B's!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Very proud!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ma! I got a thing going here!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
You got some lint on your fuzz.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ow! That's me! </p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Wave to us! We'll be in row one hundred, eighteen thousand!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Bye!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
BARRY! I told you! Stop flying in the house!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Hey, Adam!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Hey, Barry! Is that fuzz gel?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
A little. It’s a special day, finally graduating!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Never thought I'd make it.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah, three days of grade school, three days of high school, </p><p>ADAM<br/>
Those were so awkward. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Three days of college, I'm glad I took off one day in the middle and just hitchhiked around the hive!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
You did come back different.</p><p>ARTIE<br/>
Hi Barry!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Hey Artie! Growing a moustache? Looks good!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
You hear about Frankie?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
You going to his funeral?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
No, I’m not going to his funeral! Everybody knows, you sting someone, you die. You don’t waste it on a squirrel! He was such a hot head.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Yeah, I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
I love this, incorporating an amusement park right into our regular day.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I guess that’s why they say we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pump! Under the circumstances. Well, Adam, today we are men.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
We are.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Bee men!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Amen!</p><p>BARRY &amp; ADAM<br/>
Hallelujah!</p><p>BEE<br/>
Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell.</p><p>DEAN BUZZWELL<br/>
Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of… 915! Ahem… and that concludes our graduation ceremonies.<br/>
And begins your career at Honex Industries!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Are we gonna pick our job today?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
I heard it’s just orientation.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Huh. Woah, heads up! Here we go!</p><p>P.A. SYSTEM<br/>
Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.<br/>
Mantenga sus manos y antenas dentro del tranvía en todo momento.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I wonder what it’s gonna be like!</p><p> </p><p>ADAM<br/>
A little scary!</p><p>TOUR LADY<br/>
Welcome to Honex! A division of Honesco, and apart of the Hexagon group. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
This is it!<br/>
Wow.</p><p>TOUR LADY<br/>
We know that you as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Ahem. Honey begins when our valiant pollen-jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our-top secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing, sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you all know as..</p><p>BEES ON THE TRAM<br/>
Honey!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
That girl was hot.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
She’s my cousin!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
She is?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yes! We’re all cousins!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Right, you’re right.</p><p>TOUR LADY<br/>
At Honex, we also constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Ooh! What do you think he makes?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Not enough.</p><p>TOUR LADY<br/>
And here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh, what does that do?</p><p>TOUR LADY<br/>
Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Oh uh, can anyone work on the Krelman? </p><p>TOUR LADY<br/>
Of course! Most bee jobs are small ones, but bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully, because you’ll stay in the job that you pick for the rest of your life.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
The same job for the rest of your life? I didn’t know that.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
What’s the difference?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Huh?</p><p>TOUR LADY<br/>
And, you’ll be happy to know that bees as a species haven’t had one day off in twenty-seven million years. Whew! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
So you’ll just work us to death?</p><p>TOUR LADY<br/>
We’ll sure try!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Wow. That blew my mind!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
What’s the difference? Adam, how could you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make!</p><p> </p><p>ADAM<br/>
Well, I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
But Adam, how could they never have told us that?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Barry, why would you question anything? We’re bees! We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth!</p><p>BEE<br/>
Hey!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah, but Adam, did you ever think that maybe things work a little too well around here?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Like what? Give me one example.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I don’t know, but you know what I’m talking about.</p><p>P.A. SYSTEM<br/>
Please clear the gate. Royal nectar force…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Wait a second, check it out.<br/>
Hey, hey, those are pollen jocks!</p><p> </p><p>ADAM<br/>
Wow.<br/>
I’ve never seen them this close.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
They know what it’s like to go outside the hive.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Yeah, but some of them don’t come back.</p><p>BEE GIRLS<br/>
Hey jocks! Hi jocks!</p><p> </p><p>LOU LO DUCA<br/>
You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky-freaks! I love it! I love it!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I wonder where those guys have just been.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
I don’t know.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
You can’t just decide one day to be a pollen jock! You have to be bred for that.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Right. Look at that. That’s more pollen than you and I will ever see in a lifetime!</p><p> </p><p>ADAM<br/>
It’s just a status symbol. I think bees make too big a deal out of it.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it. And the ladies see you wearing it!</p><p> </p><p>ADAM<br/>
Those ladies? Oh. Aren’t they our cousins too?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Distant. Distant.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 1<br/>
Look at these two!</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
Couple of Hive Harrys.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 1<br/>
Let’s have some fun with them.</p><p>BEE GIRL<br/>
It must be so dangerous being a pollen jock!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh yeah. One time a bear had me pinned up against a mushroom! He had one paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me back and forth across the face!</p><p>BEE GIRL<br/>
Oh my!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I never thought I’d knock him out!</p><p> </p><p>BEE GIRL<br/>
And what were you doing during all of this?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Obviously, I was trying to alert the authorities.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I can autograph that if you want.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 1<br/>
Little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah… Gusty.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
Yeah, we’re gonna hit a sunflower patch about six miles from here tomorrow. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Six miles, huh?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Barry.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
It’s a puddle jump for us, but uh… Maybe you’re not up for it?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Maybe I am.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
You are not.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
We’re going 0900 at J gate.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Woah.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
So, what do you think, buzzy boy? Are you bee enough?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I might be, it all depends on what 0900 means.</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Ehh.. Honex!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh! Dad! You surprised me!</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Have you decided what you’re interested in, son?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, there’s a lot of choices…</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
But you only get one. Ha ha ha…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Dad, do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?</p><p> </p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Son, let me tell you something about stirring. You grab that stick and you just move it around and you stir it around, you get yourself into a rhythm, it’s a beautiful thing.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yow know dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me.</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
And you were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, no.</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey!</p><p> </p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Oh Barry, you are so funny sometimes!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’m not trying to be funny.</p><p> </p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
You’re not funny! You’re going into honey! Our son: the stirrer!</p><p> </p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
You’re gonna be a stirrer!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
No one’s listening to me!</p><p> </p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Wait ‘till you see the sticks I have for you! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I could say anything I want right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Let’s open some fresh honey and celebrate!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax!</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
To honey!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Shave my antenna!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
To honey!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Shack up with a grasshopper, get a gold tooth and start calling everybody “dawg!”</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
I’m so proud!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
I can’t believe we’re starting work today!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Today’s the day.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Come on, all the good jobs will be gone!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah… Right.</p><p>BUZZWELL<br/>
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal…</p><p>BEE<br/>
Is it still available?</p><p>BUZZWELL<br/>
Hang on… and two left, one of them’s yours! Congratulations, son! Step to the side, please.</p><p>BEE<br/>
Yeah!</p><p> </p><p>ADAM<br/>
Whatdja get?</p><p>BEE<br/>
Pickin’ the crud up! That is stellar!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Wow.</p><p>BUZZWELL<br/>
Couple of newbies?</p><p> </p><p>ADAM<br/>
Yes sir! Our first day! And we are ready!</p><p>BUZZWELL<br/>
Well, step up and make your choice!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
You… You wanna go first?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Uh… No, you go.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Oh my. What’s available?</p><p> </p><p>BUZZWELL<br/>
Restroom attendant’s always open, and not for the reason you think.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Any chance of getting onto the Krelman, sir?</p><p>BUZZWELL<br/>
Sure, you’re on! Oh, I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Oh!</p><p>BUZZWELL<br/>
Wax monkey’s always open. And the Krelman just opened up again!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Wh-what happened?</p><p> </p><p>BUZZWELL<br/>
Well, whenever a bee dies, that’s an opening. See that? He’s dead, dead, another dead one, deady, deadified, two more dead, dead from the neck up, dead from the neck down, BUT that’s life!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Oh. This is so hard! Heading, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, antenna block polisher, mite wrangler… Barry, Barry, what do you think I should-- Barry? Barry!</p><p>LOU LO DUCA<br/>
Alright! We’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine…</p><p>ADAM<br/>
What happened to you? Where are you?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’m going out.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Out? Out where? </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Out there!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Oh no!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I have to! Before I go to work for the rest of my life!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh, another call coming in.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
You’re--</p><p>LOU<br/>
If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on eighty third that gets their roses today!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Hey guys!</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 1<br/>
Well look at that!</p><p> </p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?</p><p>LOU<br/>
Hold it, son. Flight deck’s restricted. </p><p>POLLEN JOCK 3<br/>
It’s okay, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 1<br/>
Yeah. </p><p>LOU<br/>
Really? Feeling lucky are ya?</p><p>BEE<br/>
Sign here, here, just initial that. Thank you.</p><p>LOU<br/>
Okay! We’ve got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I’ve got a couple reports of Root Beer being poured on us! Murphey’s in a home because of it, just babbling like a cicada! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
That’s awful.</p><p>LOU<br/>
And a reminder for all you rookies. Bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans. Alright, launch position!</p><p> </p><p>POLLEN JOCKS<br/>
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!</p><p>LOU<br/>
Black and yellow!</p><p>POLLEN JOCKS<br/>
Hello!</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 1<br/>
You ready for this, hotshot?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. </p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
Wind, check.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 3<br/>
Antenna, check.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 4<br/>
Nectar pack, check.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 5<br/>
Wings, check.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 6<br/>
Stinger, check.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Scared out of my shorts, check!</p><p>LOU<br/>
Okay, ladies. Let’s move it out!<br/>
Pound those petunias, you striped stem suckers! All of you… Drain those flowers!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Wow. I’m out… I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. Woah! I feel so fast and free! Box cut! Wow.<br/>
Flowers!</p><p>POLLEN JOCK<br/>
This is Blue Leader, we have roses visual. Bring it around thirty degrees and hold.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Roses.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK<br/>
Thirty degrees, rodger, bringing it around.<br/>
Stand to the side kid, it’s got a bit of a kick.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh, that is one nectar collector.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK<br/>
You ever see pollination up close?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
No sir.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK<br/>
I pick up some pollen over here, and sprinkle it over here! Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic, ain’t it?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Wow, that’s amazing. Why do we do that?</p><p>POLLEN JOCK<br/>
That’s pollen power kid. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar! More honey for us.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Cool.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 1<br/>
I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Could be daisies, do we need those?</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
Copy that, visual.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 1<br/>
Hold on! One of these flowers seems to be on the move!</p><p> </p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
Say again? Are you reporting a moving flower?</p><p> </p><p>POLLEN JOCK 1<br/>
Affirmative.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
This is the coolest, what is it?</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 3<br/>
I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 3<br/>
Yeah. Fuzzy.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 1<br/>
Chemically.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 3<br/>
Careful guys. It’s a little grabby.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh, sweet lord of bees!</p><p> </p><p>POLLEN JOCK 3<br/>
Hey, candy brain! Get off there!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Problem? AH! Guys!</p><p> </p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
This could be bad.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 3<br/>
Affirmative.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Very close. That hurt. Mama’s little boy.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
You are way out of position, rookie!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Help me!</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 3<br/>
You know, I don’t think these are flowers.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 2<br/>
Should we tell him?</p><p>POLLEN JOCK 3<br/>
I think he knows.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
What is this?! Woah!</p><p>KEN<br/>
Match point! You can just start packing up honey, because I believe you’re about to EAT IT! Huh? No! You can not be serious!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yowzers!<br/>
Ew, gross.</p><p>LADY<br/>
There’s a bee in the car! Ah!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ah!</p><p>FAMILY IN CAR<br/>
Ah!</p><p> </p><p>LADY<br/>
Do something!</p><p> </p><p>MAN<br/>
I’m driving!</p><p>GIRL<br/>
Hi, bee.</p><p>BOY<br/>
He’s back here, he’s gonna sting me!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ow!</p><p> </p><p>LADY<br/>
Nobody move! If you don’t move, he won’t sting you! Freeze!</p><p> </p><p>GRANDMA<br/>
He blinked!</p><p> </p><p>BOY<br/>
Spray him, Granny!</p><p>MAN<br/>
What are you doing?!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Wow. The tension level out here is unbelievable! I gotta get home. Woah. Can’t fly in rain, can’t fly in rain, can’t fly in rain, can’t fly in-- Ah! Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Ken, can you close the window, please?</p><p> </p><p>KEN<br/>
Huh? Oh. Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a foldout brochure. See? It folds out.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh no, more humans! I don’t need this. Ow! What was that? Maybe this time… this time, this time, this time, this this, this, doh! Drapes!<br/>
That is diabolical. </p><p>KEN<br/>
It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top ten favourite movies.</p><p>FRIEND<br/>
What’s your number one, Star Wars?</p><p>KEN<br/>
No, I don’t go for that “pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew” kind of stuff.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
No wonder we’re not supposed to talk to them. They’re out of their minds.</p><p>KEN<br/>
When I walk out of a job interview, they’re flabbergasted. They can’t believe the things I say.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
There’s the sun! Maybe that’s a way out! I don’t remember the sun having a big seventy five on it...</p><p>KEN<br/>
I gotta tell ya, I predicted global warming. I can feel it getting hotter. First I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee!</p><p>FRIEND 2<br/>
Kill it! Kill it!</p><p>KEN<br/>
Stand back! These are winter boots!</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Wait! Don’t kill him!</p><p> </p><p>KEN<br/>
You know I’m allergic to them, this thing could kill me!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Well, why does his life have any less value than yours?</p><p>KEN<br/>
Why does his life have any less value than mine, is that your statement?</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.</p><p>KEN<br/>
My brochure…</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
There you go, little guy.</p><p>KEN<br/>
I’m not scared of them but y’know… It’s an allergic thing. </p><p>FRIEND<br/>
Hey, why don’t you put that on your resume brochure?</p><p> </p><p>KEN<br/>
That’s not funny. My whole face could puff up.</p><p>FRIEND<br/>
Hm. Make it one of your special skills.</p><p>KEN<br/>
You know, knocking someone out is also a special skill.</p><p>FRIEND 2<br/>
Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.</p><p>KEN<br/>
Vanessa, yogurt night? Next week?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yeah, sure, y’know, whatever.</p><p>KEN<br/>
You could put carob chips on that. Supposed to be less calories or something.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Bye.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I got to say something. She saved my life, I got to say something.<br/>
Alright, here it goes.<br/>
What do I say? I could really get in trouble.<br/>
It’s a bee law! You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this!<br/>
I got to! Oh, I can’t do it. Come on!<br/>
No. Yes. No. Do it! I can’t!<br/>
How should I start it?<br/>
Ya like jazz?<br/>
No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool!<br/>
Uh, hi.<br/>
I’m sorry.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You’re talking.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yes. I know. I’m so--</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You’re talking.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
No, it’s okay. It’s fine. It’s just… I know I’m dreaming, but I don’t recall going to bed.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, y’know, I’m sure this is very disconcerting and…</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yeah. I mean, this is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a bee!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah, yeah I am a bee, and uh… y’know I’m not supposed to be doing this. But they… we’re all trying to kill me…</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Uh-huh.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
And if it weren’t for you… I mean, I had to thank you. It’s just-- It’s the way I was raised.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh. Ugh!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ow. That was a little weird.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I’m talking to a bee.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I’m talking to a bee. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Anyway…</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
And the bee is talking to me.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Uh… I just want you to know I’m grateful. I’m… I’m gonna leave now.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh, wait, wait wait. How’d you learn to do that?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
What?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
The- the- the talking thing.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama. Dada. Honey.” You pick it up.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Ha ha, very funny…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Can I uh… get you something?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Like what?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I don’t know… I mean… I don’t know! Coffee?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, uh.. I don’t want to put you out unless you’re making it anyway.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh, no, it’s no trouble. Oh, it takes two minutes!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Really?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
It’s just coffee.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’d hate to impose.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Don’t be ridiculous!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Actually, I would love a cup.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Hey, you want a little rum cake?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I really shouldn’t.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Have a little rum cake.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
No, no no. I can’t.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh, come on.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Y’know… I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms here.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Where?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, these stripes don’t help!</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You look great!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you alright?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
No?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. So he finally gets there... </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Uh-huh.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
He runs up the steps into the church, the wedding is on...</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yeah…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
And he says… “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan! Why would I marry a watermelon!”</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh… Is that uh… a bee joke?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah, that’s the kind of stuff that we do.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yeah… different. So anyway, what are you going to do, Barry?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
About work? I don’t know. I wanna do my part for the hive but I can’t do it the way they want.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I know how you feel. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
You do?</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer, or a doctor. But I wanted to be a florist. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Really?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
My only interest is flowers.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Our new queen was just elected with the same campaign slogan.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh. Huh… </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Anyway, uh, y’see, if you look th- see, there’s my hive, right there. You can see it.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh! You’re in Sheep Meadow!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yes! You know the Turtle Pond?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yes.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’m right off of there!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh, no way. I know that area, do you know I lost a toe ring there once?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Really? Why do girls put rings on their toes?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I mean… why not?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I don’t know, it’s like putting a hat on your knee.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Maybe I’ll try that.</p><p>ELECTRICIAN<br/>
You alright ma’am?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh! Yeah, fine, just having two cups of coffee!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Uh, ahem. Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh, yeah. It’s no trouble. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did I’d be up the rest of my life.<br/>
I… um… Could I… um… Could I take a piece of this with me?</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Sure! Here, have a crumb.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh, thanks. Alright well, then, uh… I’ll guess I’ll see you around… Or not or…</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Okay, Barry.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
And uh… thank you so much again for before…</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh, that? Oh that was nothing.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, not nothing, but… anyway.</p><p>BEE SCIENTIST 1<br/>
This can’t possibly work.</p><p>BEE SCIENTIST 2<br/>
Well, he’s all set to go, we may as well try it. Okay, Dave, pull the shoot!</p><p> </p><p>ADAM<br/>
Sounds amazing.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Humans… Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy, giant things. They drive around real crazy. </p><p>ADAM<br/>
And did they try and kill you, like on TV?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Some of them, but some of them don’t. </p><p>ADAM<br/>
How’d you get back?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Poodle. </p><p>ADAM<br/>
Look. You did it and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted, see out there, you had your experience. And now you’re back, you can pick out your job and everything can be normal.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well…</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Well? Well?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, I met someone.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
You met someone? Was she bee-ish? Not a wasp? Your parents will kill you!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
No, no, no, not a wasp. </p><p>ADAM<br/>
Spider?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
You know I’m not attracted to the spiders? I know everyone else is like the hottest thing with the eight legs and all, I just can’t get by that face. </p><p>ADAM<br/>
So uh. Who is she?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
She’s uh. Human.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Oh no, no, no, that didn’t happen. You didn’t do that. That’s a bee law! You wouldn’t break a bee law! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Her name’s Vanessa!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Oh, oh boy.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
She’s so nice! And she’s a florist!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Oh, no. No, no. You’re dating a human florist!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, we’re not dating.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
You’re flying outside the hive! You’re talking to human beings that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! That’s one-eighth of a stick of dynamite!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
She saved my life! And she understands me!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
This is over!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Eat this.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
This is not over! What was that?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
They call it a crumb!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
That was so stinging stripey!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
And that’s not even what they eat! That just falls off what they eat! Do you know what a Cinnabon is? </p><p>ADAM<br/>
No.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
It’s bread, and cinnamon and frosting! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Come here, you. Be quiet!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
They heat it up!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Sit down!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
It’s really hot!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us, there’s us, and there’s them! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?</p><p> </p><p>ADAM<br/>
There’s no yearning! Stop yearning! Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!</p><p>BEE 1<br/>
Thinking bee!</p><p> </p><p>BEE 2<br/>
Thinking bee!</p><p>BEES<br/>
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
There he is. He’s in the pool.</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
You know what your problem is, Barry?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I got to start thinking bee?</p><p> </p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Barry, how much longer is this gonna go on? It’s been three days. I don’t understand why you’re not working.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, I’ve got a lot of big life decisions I’m thinking about. </p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
What life? You have no life! You have no job, you’re barely a bee!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Would it kill you to just make a little honey? Barry, come out from under there, your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him?</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Barry, I’m talking to you!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You coming?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Got everything?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
All set!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
You go ahead, I’ll catch up!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Don’t be too long!<br/>
Watch this!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Vanessa!</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
We’re still here, Barry.</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond when you yell at him.</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Then why are you yelling at me?</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Because you don’t listen!</p><p> </p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Eh, I’m not listening to this. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Sorry mom. I’ve got to go. </p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Where are you going?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Nowhere! I’m meeting a friend.</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
A girl? Is this why you can’t decide?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Bye!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
I just hope she’s bee-ish…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
So they have a huge parade of just flowers every year in Pasadena?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh, to be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Wow, a tournament. Do the roses actually compete in athletic events?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
No. Alright, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
It’s exhausting. How come you don’t run everywhere, isn’t that faster?</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yeah, okay. I see, I see. Alright, your turn.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Uh, TiVo! You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane. </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
What, you don’t have anything like that?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
We have Hivo. But it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh my.</p><p>MAN<br/>
Oh. Dumb bees!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You must just wanna… sting all those jerks.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
We really try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
So you really have to watch your temper!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh yeah, very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. You work through it like any emotion. Anger, jealousy… lust.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh my goodness! Are you okay? </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah. Whooh.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
What is wrong with you?</p><p>HECTOR<br/>
It’s a bug.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Well, he’s not bothering anybody! Get out of here you creep!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
What was that, a Pick ‘n Save circular?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yeah, it was, how did you know?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ugh… It felt like about ten pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Boy, you’ve really got that down to a science.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Haha, I’ll bet.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
What in the name of mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Cute Bee? Golden Blossom? Ray Liotta Private Select?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Is he that actor?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’ve never heard of him. Why is this here?</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
For people. We eat it.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Why?! You don’t have enough food of your own?</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Well, yes, we-- </p><p>BARRY<br/>
How’d you even get it?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Well, bees make it.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating and cooling and stirring! You need a whole Krelman thing!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
It’s organic.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
It’s our-ganic.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
It’s just honey, Barry.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Just… What?! Bees don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, our schools, our hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m gonna get to the bottom of this, I’m gonna get to the bottom of all of this!</p><p>MAN<br/>
Hey, Hector. You almost done?</p><p>HECTOR<br/>
Almost. He’s here. I sense it.<br/>
Well, I guess I’ll go home now, and just leave this nice honey out! With no one around… </p><p>BARRY<br/>
You’re busted, box boy!</p><p>HECTOR<br/>
Ah ha! I knew I heard something! So you can talk!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh, I can talk. And now you’re gonna start talking! Where you getting all the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier?!</p><p>HECTOR<br/>
I don’t know what you’re talking about! I thought we were all friends! The last thing we want to do is upset any of you bees!<br/>
You’re too late, it’s ours now!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
You sir, have crossed the wrong sword!</p><p>HECTOR<br/>
You sir, are about to be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Where’s the honey coming from? Tell me where!</p><p>HECTOR<br/>
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh my! What horrible thing has happened here? Look at these faces! They never knew what hit them! And now they’re on the road to nowhere! </p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Psst! Just keep still!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
What? You’re not dead?</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Do I look dead? Hey man, they will wipe anything that moves! Now where you headed?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here! </p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
I’m going to Alaska! Moose blood, crazy stuff! Blows your head off!</p><p>LADYBUG<br/>
I’m going to Tacoma.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
What about you?</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
He really is dead.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Alright.</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Uh-oh!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
What is that?</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Oh no! It’s a wiper, triple blade!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Triple blade?</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean? How much do you people need to see? Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! </p><p>RADIO<br/>
From NPR News in Washington, I’m Carl Kasell.</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
But don’t kill no more bugs! Bee!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Mooseblood guy!</p><p>MAN IN CAR<br/>
You hear something?</p><p>MAN IN CAR 2<br/>
Like what?</p><p>MAN 1<br/>
Like… Tiny screaming.</p><p>MAN 2<br/>
Turn off the radio.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ah-ha! Oh!</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Hey, what’s up bee boy!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Hey, Blood!<br/>
And it was just an endless row of honey jars as far as the eye can see. </p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Wow…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
So I’m just assuming wherever this honey truck goes, that’s where they’re gettin’ it! I mean, that honey’s ours.</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Bees hang tight. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, we’re all jammed in there. It’s a close community.</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Not us man. We-- we on our own. Every mosquito on his own.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
What if you get in trouble?</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Trouble? You a mosquito! You in trouble! Nobody likes us, it’s all smackin’. People see a mosquito, smack, smack! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
At least you’re out in the world. You must meet a lot of girls.</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Mosquito girls try to trade up. Get with the moth… Dragonfly… Mosquito girls don’t want no mosquito. Woah! You’ve got to be kiddin’ me! Mooseblood’s about to leave the building! So long, bee! Hey guys! I knew I’d catch y’all down here! Did you bring your crazy straw?</p><p>BEEKEEPER 1<br/>
Then we throw it in some jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
What is this place?</p><p> </p><p>BEEKEEPER 2<br/>
Bees have the brain the size of a pinhead!</p><p>BEEKEEPER 1<br/>
They are pinheads! </p><p>BEEKEEPER 2<br/>
Pinhead!</p><p>BEEKEEPER 1<br/>
Hey, check out the new smoker!</p><p> </p><p>BEEKEEPER 2<br/>
Oh, sweet! That’s the one you want!</p><p>BEEKEEPER 1<br/>
The Thomas 3000!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Smoker?</p><p>BEEKEEPER 1<br/>
Ninety puffs a minute. Semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. Couple breaths of this, knocks them right out.<br/>
They make the honey and we make the money.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
“They make the honey and we make the money?” Oh my!<br/>
What’s going on? Are you okay?</p><p>BEE<br/>
Yeah. It doesn’t last too long.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
How did all these bees get here? Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls?</p><p>BEE<br/>
Our queen was moved here. We had no choice.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them!<br/>
Bee honey, our honey, is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything the bears have done to us! And I intend to do something about it. </p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Oh, Barry, stop.</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Who told you humans are taking our honey? That’s just a rumor.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Do these look like rumors?</p><p>UNCLE CARL<br/>
That’s a conspiracy theory! These are obviously doctored photos. </p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Barry, how did you get mixed up in all of this?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Because he’s been talking to humans!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
What?</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Talking to humans?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
He has a human girlfriend!</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Oh, Barry.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
And they make out!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Make out? Barry!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
We do not!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
You wish you could. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Whose side are you on?</p><p> </p><p>ADAM<br/>
The bees!</p><p>UNCLE CARL<br/>
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Man, those crazy legs kept me up all night!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
This is what I wanna do for all our lives! Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home some nights so overworked, your hands were still stirring, you couldn’t stop em!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
I remember that.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
What right do they have to our hard-earned honey? We’re living on two cups a year, they’re putting it in lip balm, for no reason whatsoever!</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Even if it’s true, Barry, what could one bee do?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’m gonna sting them where it really hurts! </p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
In the face!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
No.</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
The eye! That would really hurt. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
No.</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Up the nose? That’s a killer.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
There’s only one place you can sting the humans. One place where it really matters.</p><p>ANNOUNCER<br/>
Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi, and Jeanette Chung.</p><p>BOB BUMBLE<br/>
Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble.</p><p>JEANETTE CHUNG<br/>
And I’m Janette Chung.</p><p>BOB BUMBLE<br/>
Our top story, a tri-county bee, Barry Benson, is saying he intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally.</p><p>BEE LARRY KING<br/>
Don’t forget, tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we’re gonna have three former queens all right here in the studio, discussing their new book, Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight, we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, “I’m just a kid from the hive, I can’t do this?”</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Larry, bees have never been afraid to change the world. I mean, what about Bee Columbius? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?</p><p>BEE LARRY KING<br/>
Well, where I’m from, you wouldn’t think of suing humans. We were thinking more like stickball or candy stores.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
How old are you?</p><p> </p><p>BEE LARRY KING<br/>
Well I want you to know the entire bee community is supporting you in this case, which is certain to be the trial of the bee century.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Thank you, Larry. You know they have a Larry King in the human world too.</p><p>BEE LARRY KING<br/>
It’s a common name. Next week on Bee Larry King-- </p><p>BARRY<br/>
No, no, I mean, he looks like you and he has a show with suspenders and different coloured dots behind him,</p><p>BEE LARRY KING<br/>
Next week on Bee Larry--</p><p>BARRY<br/>
He’s got old guy glasses and there’s quotes along the bottom from the guest you’re watching even though you just heard them.</p><p>BEE LARRY KING<br/>
Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and they’re here live! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes… Very Jewish.</p><p>KEN<br/>
In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
But it was my grandmother Ken. She’s eighty-one.</p><p>KEN<br/>
Ha. Honey, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Quiet please, actual work going on here.</p><p>KEN<br/>
Is that that same bee?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yes it is.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I’m helping him sue the human race.</p><p>KEN<br/>
Wha…?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh. Hello.</p><p>KEN<br/>
Hello, bee.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
This is Ken.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah. I remember you. Timberland. Size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.</p><p>KEN<br/>
Why does he talk again?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Listen, you better go, ‘cause we’re really busy working. </p><p>KEN<br/>
But it’s our yogurt night!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh. Bye-bye.</p><p>KEN<br/>
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh you poor thing. You two have been at this for hours.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Snz… Frosting… Frosting…</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
How many sugars?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Just one. I try not to use the competition. Ooh. So why are you helping me anyway?</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Bees have good qualities.</p><p>BARRY (in Italian)<br/>
Si, certa...</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
And it feels good to take my mind off the shop. I don’t know why, but instead of flowers, people are giving away balloon bouquets now.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah, those are great, if you’re three.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
And artificial flowers.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh, those just get me psychotic!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yeah, me too.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
The bent stingers, the pointless pollination.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Bees must hate those fake plastic things!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
There’s nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Well, maybe this could make up for it a little bit. You know, Barry, this lawsuit’s a pretty big deal.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I guess.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Are you sure you want to go through with it?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home!” Without paying a royalty!</p><p>REPORTER<br/>
Sarah, it’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan where all eyes and ears of the world are anxiously waiting, because for the first time in history, we’re going to hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
What have we gotten into here, Barry?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I don’t know, but it’s pretty big, isn’t it?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
I can’t believe how many humans don’t have to be at work during the day.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Hey, you think these billion-dollar, multinational food companies have good lawyers?</p><p>P.A. SYSTEM<br/>
Folks, everybody needs to stay back behind the barricade.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ugh.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
What’s the matter?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I don’t know. I just got a chill.</p><p>LAYTON T. MONTGOMERY<br/>
Well, if it isn’t the bee team. Any of you boys work on this?</p><p>BAILIFF<br/>
All rise. The honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.</p><p>JUDGE<br/>
All right, case number 4475. Superior Court of New York, Barry B. Benson verses the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomrey, you’re representing the five major food companies, collectively?</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
A privilege.</p><p> </p><p>JUDGE<br/>
Uh, Mr. Benson, you’re representing all bees of the world?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Bzz, bzz. Bzz bzz bzz bzzz, bzz bzz. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Yes Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. </p><p>JUDGE<br/>
And, Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please.</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we were to live in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what it would mean. Maybe I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic-motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids!</p><p>JUDGE<br/>
Mr. Benson.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, there’s no trickery here, I’m just an ordinary bee. And as a bee, honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it. We make it, and we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately some people in this room think they can take whatever they want from us ‘cause we’re the little guys! And what I’m hoping is, after all of this is over, you’ll see how by taking our honey, you’re not only taking away everything we have, but everything we are!</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
Oh, I wish he would dress like that all the time. So nice.</p><p>JUDGE<br/>
Call your first witness.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms. Pretty big company you’ve got there. </p><p>VANDERHAYDEN<br/>
I suppose so.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
And I see you also own Honeyburton. And Honron!</p><p>VANDERHAYDEN<br/>
Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Beekeeper, I find that to be a very disturbing tone I would have to say. I don’t imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?</p><p>VANDERHAYDEN<br/>
Uh, no.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you.</p><p>VANDERHAYDEN<br/>
No.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. And not only that, it seems you thought a bear was an appropriate image for a jar of honey.</p><p>VANDERHAYDEN<br/>
Well, they’re very loveable creatures! Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-a-bear?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How would you like his big hairy head crashing through your living room? Biting into your couch? Spitting out your throw pillows? Roar, rawr! Alright, that’s enough. Take him away.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me, I must say. Where have I heard it before?</p><p> </p><p>STING<br/>
I was with a band called The Police.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
But you’ve never been a police officer before of any kind, have you?</p><p>STING<br/>
No, I haven't.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture being casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. </p><p>STING<br/>
Oh, please.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? ‘Cause I’m feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say, Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! </p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
That’s not his real name? You idiots!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Mr. Liotta, first may I offer my belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005.</p><p>LIOTTA<br/>
Thank you, thank you. Hahaha.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I also see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome, but with a churning inner turmoil that’s always ready to blow.</p><p>LIOTTA<br/>
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Not yet it isn’t, but is this what it’s come to for you, Mr. Liotta? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir?</p><p>LIOTTA<br/>
Watch it Benson! I could blow right now!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
This isn’t a goodfella, this is a badfella!</p><p>LIOTTA<br/>
Why doesn’t someone just step on this little creep, and we can all go home?!</p><p>JUDGE<br/>
Order! Order in this courtroom!</p><p>LIOTTA<br/>
You’re all thinking it!</p><p>JUDGE<br/>
Order, order I say! Mr. Liotta, would you please sit down!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, I just think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I’m telling you, I think the jury is on our side.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Are we doing everything right, y’know, legally?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I’m a florist.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Right, right. Well, here’s to a great team.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
To a great team!</p><p>KEN<br/>
Well, hello.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh, Ken! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Hello!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Uh, I didn’t think you were coming!</p><p>KEN<br/>
No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery… </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I didn’t want all of this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free!</p><p>KEN<br/>
Oh, that was lucky.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Well, there’s still a little left! I can heat it up.</p><p>KEN<br/>
Yeah, heat it up. Sure, whatever.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
So, I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself, I find the ball a little grabby.</p><p>KEN<br/>
That’s where I usually sit. Right there.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill.</p><p>KEN<br/>
You think I don’t see what you’re doing?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Hey, look, I know how hard it is trying to find the right job, we certainly have that in common.</p><p>KEN<br/>
Do we?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, bees have one hundred percent employment, of course, but we do jobs like taking the crud out.</p><p>KEN<br/>
That’s just what I was thinking about doing.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Ken? I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was alright!</p><p>KEN<br/>
Oh! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’m gonna go drain the ol’ stinger.</p><p>KEN<br/>
Yeah, you do that. Oh! You know… You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
What’s that?</p><p>KEN<br/>
Italian Vogue. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages.</p><p>KEN<br/>
It’s a lot of ads.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Remember what Van said… Why is your life more valuable than mine?</p><p>KEN<br/>
That’s funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I love the smell of flowers!</p><p>KEN<br/>
Oh yeah? How do you like the smell of flames?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Not as much!</p><p>WATERBUG<br/>
Waterbug! Not taking sides!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ken, look at me, I’m wearing a chapstick hat, this is pathetic!</p><p>KEN<br/>
I’ve got issues! Well, well, well. A royal flush!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
You’re bluffing!</p><p>KEN<br/>
Am I?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Surf’s up, dude!</p><p>KEN<br/>
Ew! Poo water!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
That bowl was gnarly!</p><p>KEN<br/>
Except for those dirty yellow rings!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Kenneth! What are you doing?!</p><p>KEN<br/>
You know what? I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
We need to talk! He’s just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time.</p><p>KEN<br/>
Long time? What are you talking about? Are there other bugs in your life?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
No, but there are other things bugging me in life! And you’re one of them!</p><p> </p><p>KEN<br/>
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt nights, my nerves are fried from riding on this emotional rollercoaster!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Goodbye, Ken.</p><p>KEN<br/>
And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I’m sorry about all that. </p><p>KEN<br/>
I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh well.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Will you be okay for the trial tomorrow?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh, I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas.</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Now, that’s a good idea. You can see why he’s considered one of the very best lawyers--</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Uh… Yeah.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Oh.</p><p>LAWYER<br/>
Layton, you’ve got to weave some magic with this jury or it’s gonna be all over.</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
Oh, don’t worry Mr. Gammel, All I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. You got the tweezers?</p><p>LAYWER<br/>
Are you allergic?</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I ask you what I think we’d like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
We’re friends.</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
Good friends?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yes.</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
How good? Do you live together?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Wait a minute, this isn’t about--</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
Are you her little, ahem… bed bug?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Hey, that’s not the kind of--</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
I’ve seen a bee documentary or two, now from what I understand, doesn’t your queen give birth to all the children in the hives?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah, but--</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
So those aren’t even your real parents!</p><p>BEE DAD<br/>
Oh, Barry…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yes they are!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Hold me back!</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you, Benson? </p><p>ADAM<br/>
He’s denouncing bees!</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
And don’t y’all date your cousins?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Objection!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
I’m gonna pincushion this guy!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Adam, don’t, it’s what he wants!</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
Oh! I’m hit! Oh, lordy, I’m hit! </p><p>JUDGE<br/>
Order! Order!</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
The venom! It’s coursing through my veins! </p><p>JUDGE<br/>
Please, Mr. Montgomery!</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Adam, stay with me!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
I-I can’t feel my legs…</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
Oh, what angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks?</p><p>JUDGE<br/>
Please, I will have order in my court! Order! Order, please!</p><p>REPORTER<br/>
The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. Now here’s Don with the five day...</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Thank you.<br/>
Hey buddy.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Hey. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Is there much pain?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Yeah. I uh… I blew the whole case, didn’t I?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you’re alive. You could have died.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria. They got it from downstairs in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
What was it like to sting someone?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
I can’t explain it. It was all… adrenaline and then ecstasy.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Alright.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
You think it was all a trap?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Of course. I’m sorry, I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
What do you think the humans will do to us if they win?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I don’t know.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
I heard they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Adam, they check in but they don’t check out!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Oh my. Say, could you get a nurse to close that window? </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Why?</p><p> </p><p>ADAM<br/>
The smoke. Bees don’t smoke.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking! Adam, that’s it! That’s our case!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
It is? It’s not over?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
No, get up, get dressed! I’ve got to go somewhere. You go back to the court and stall. Stall anyway you can.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
And… assuming you’ve done step twenty nine correctly, you’re ready for the tub!</p><p>JUDGE<br/>
Mr. Flayman?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Yes… Yes, yes, Your Honor?</p><p>JUDGE<br/>
Where is the rest of your team?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Uh.. Well, well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. You know, bees are trained to fly kind of haphazardly and as a result, quite often we don’t make very good time. Actually, I once heard a funny story about a bee--</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of the court’s valuable time? How much longer are we going to allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run perfectly legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case.</p><p>JUDGE<br/>
Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
But you can’t! We have a terrific case!</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
Where is your proof? Where’s the evidence? Show me the smoking gun!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun!</p><p> </p><p>JUDGE<br/>
What is that?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
It’s a bee smoker!</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
What, this? This harmless contraption couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee! Oh. Hee. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Members of the jury, look at what has happened to bees who’ve never been asked “smoking or non.” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to these smoke machines, living in man-made, wooden-slant work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves for the white man? </p><p>LAWYER<br/>
What are we gonna do?</p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
He’s playing the species card!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ladies and gentlemen, please! Free these bees!</p><p>JURY<br/>
Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees!</p><p>JUDGE<br/>
The court finds in favour of the bees!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Vanessa! We won!</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yay! I knew you could do it! High-five!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ow!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh, sorry. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’m okay! Vanessa, do you know what this means? All of the honey is finally gonna belong to the bees! Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time! </p><p>MONTGOMERY<br/>
This is an unholy perversion in the balance of nature, Benson. You’ll regret this.</p><p>REPORTER<br/>
Barry, how much honey do you think is out there?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Alright, alright, one at a time.</p><p>REPORTER<br/>
Barry, who are you wearing?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Uh, my sweater’s Ralph Lauren and I have no pants.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
What if Montgomery's right? </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
What do you mean?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
We’ve been living the bee way for a long time. Twenty-seven million years.</p><p>WOMAN<br/>
Congratulations on your victory, what are you going to demand as a settlement? </p><p>BARRY<br/>
First we’re gonna demand a total shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want to take back the honey that was ours to begin with. Every last drop. We demand a glorification of the bear, as anything more than a filthy, smelly, big-headed, bad breath stink machine. I believe we’re all aware of what they do in the woods!<br/>
Wait for my signal… Take him out.</p><p>“ATFH” SNIPER<br/>
He’ll have a little nausea for a few hours, then he’ll be fine.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
And we will no longer tolerate derogatory, bee-negative nicknames.</p><p>STING<br/>
But it’s just a prance-about stage name!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products, and la-dee-da human tea time snack garnishments.</p><p>OLD WOMAN<br/>
Can’t breathe!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Bring it in, boys!</p><p>MAN<br/>
Hold it right there! Good! Tap it!</p><p>BEE WORKER 1<br/>
Mr. Buzzwell! We just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! I think we need to shut down!</p><p>BEE WORKER 2<br/>
Shut down? We never shut down.</p><p>DEAN BUZZWELL<br/>
Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir.</p><p>BEE 1<br/>
Well, what do we do now?</p><p>BEE 2<br/>
Cannon ball! Whooo!</p><p>LOU LO DUCA<br/>
We’re shutting down honey production! Mission abort!</p><p>POLLEN JOCK<br/>
Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Oh, yeah?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
What’s going on around here? Where is everybody? Are they out celebrating?</p><p>ADAM<br/>
No, they’re just home. They don’t know what to do. They’re laying out, they’re sleeping in, I heard your Uncle Carl was going back to San Antonio with a cricket.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
At least we got our honey back.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Yeah, but sometimes I think, so what if the humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be a part of making it! This was my new desk, this was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… now I can’t.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I don’t understand why they’re not happy. We have so much now, I thought their lives would be better!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Uh huh.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
They’re doing nothing! It’s amazing. Honey really changes people.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You have no idea what’s going on, do you?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
What did you want to show me?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
This.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh, what happened here?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
That is not the half of it. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh no. Oh my… They’re all wilting.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Doesn’t look very good, does it?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
No. </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
And whose fault do you think that is?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Hmmm… You know, I’m gonna guess bees?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Bees?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Specifically, me. I guess I didn’t think that bees not needing to make honey would affect all these other things.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
It’s not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Well, that’s a whole SAT test right there.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
So, you take away the produce, which affects the entire animal kingdom, and then of course…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
The human species? Oh. So if there’s no more pollination… It could all just go south here, couldn’t it?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
And I know this is also partially my fault.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
How about a suicide pact?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
How do we do it?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I sting you, you step on me.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
That just kills you twice.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Right, right.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Listen, Barry, sorry, but I’ve got to get going. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why you leaving? Where you going?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They moved it up to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Vanessa, I just want to say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I know. Me neither.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Roses? Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Barry?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Roses are flowers! </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yes, they are!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Flowers! Bees! Pollen!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I know! That’s why this is the last parade!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Maybe not! Can you ask him to slow down?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Could you slow down? Barry!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Okay, I made a huge mistake, I’ve made a total disaster and this is all my fault.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yes, it kind of is.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’ve ruined the planet, and I wanted to help you with your flower shop, instead, I’ve made it worse.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Actually, it’s completely closed down.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh. I thought maybe you were remodeling. Nonetheless, I have another idea and it’s greater than all my previous ideas combined.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I don’t want to hear it!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Ow. Alright, here’s what I’m thinking. They have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Bees…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Park.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Pollen!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Flowers.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Repollination!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Across the nation!<br/>
Alright, Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. Oh, it’s real.</p><p>GUARD<br/>
Sorry ma’am. That’s a nice brooch, by the way.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Thank you. It was a gift.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Then once we’re inside, we just pick the right float. </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
How about the princess and the pea? </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yeah!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I can be the princess…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yes, I think I’ve got it.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
And you could be the pea!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Sorry I’m late. Where should I sit?</p><p>GIRL<br/>
Who are you?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I believe I’m the pea.</p><p>GIRL<br/>
The pea? It’s supposed to be under the mattresses. </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.</p><p>GIRL<br/>
I’m gonna go talk to the marshal.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do!</p><p>MAN<br/>
Hey, what are you doing?!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Then all we do is blend in with traffic without arousing suspicion. And once we’re at the airport, there’s no stopping us!</p><p>SECURITY<br/>
Stop! Security. Did you and your insect pack your own float?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yes. </p><p>SECURITY<br/>
Has the float been in your possession the entire time?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yes. </p><p>SECURITY<br/>
Would you remove your shoes and everything in your pockets? Can you remove your stinger, sir?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Uh, that’s part of me?</p><p>SECURITY<br/>
I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Then, if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is going to work, Vanessa!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
It’s got to work.</p><p>CAPTAIN<br/>
Attention passengers, this is Captain Scott. I’m afraid we have some bad weather in the New York area and looks like we’re going to be experiencing a couple hours’ delay.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’ve gotta get up there and talk to these guys. </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Be careful.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Hey, can I get some help with this Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable ear and nose hair trimmer. Excuse me, captain, I’m in a real situation here.</p><p>CAPTAIN<br/>
What’d you say, Hal?</p><p>CO-PILOT<br/>
I didn’t say anything. </p><p>CAPTAIN<br/>
Ah! Bee! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
No, no, no, don’t freak out! There’s a chance my entire species-- Ah!!</p><p>CO-PILOT<br/>
What are you doing?</p><p>CAPTAIN<br/>
Uh-oh.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! </p><p>CO-PILOT<br/>
Who’s an attorney?</p><p>CAPTAIN<br/>
Don’t move…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Oh, Barry…<br/>
Good afternoon, passengers, this is your captain speaking. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in seat twenty-four B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Barry! What happened here?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I tried to talk to these guys, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded, now one’s bald, one’s in a boat and they’re both unconscious!</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Is that another bee joke?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
No! No one’s flying the plane!</p><p> </p><p>DITCHWATER<br/>
This is JFK control tower, flight 356. What’s your status?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
This is Vanessa Bloome, a florist from New York.</p><p>DITCHWATER<br/>
Where’s the pilot?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
He’s unconscious and so is the co-pilot!</p><p>DITCHWATER<br/>
Not good. Is there anyone on board who has flight experience?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
As a matter of fact, there is.</p><p>DITCHWATER<br/>
Who’s that?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Barry Benson.</p><p>DITCHWATER<br/>
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Vanessa, this thing is nothing more than a big metal bee! It’s got giant wings, huge engines! </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I can’t fly a plane!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yes… </p><p>BARRY<br/>
How hard could it be?</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Wait a minute, Barry, we’re headed into some lightning! </p><p>BOB BUMBLE<br/>
This is Bob Bumble, we have some late breaking news from JFK Airport, where a very suspenseful scene is developing! Barry Benson, fresh off his stunning legal victory…</p><p>ADAM<br/>
That’s Barry!</p><p> </p><p>BOB BUMBLE<br/>
...is now attempting to land a plane! Loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew!</p><p>BARRY’S FAMILY<br/>
Flowers?!</p><p>DITCHWATER<br/>
We’ve got an electrical storm in the area and two individuals are at the control of a jumbo jet with absolutely no flight experience!</p><p>JANETTE CHUNG<br/>
Just a minute, Mr. Ditchwater. There’s a honey bee on that plane.</p><p>DITCHWATER<br/>
Oh, I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson’s work and his no account compadres. Haven’t they done enough damage already? </p><p>JANETTE CHUNG<br/>
Isn’t he your only hope right now?</p><p> </p><p>DITCHWATER<br/>
Come on, technically a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. The wings are too small, their bodies are too big--</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Hey, hold on a second, haven’t we heard this a million times? The surface area of the wings and body mass doesn’t make sense?</p><p>JANETTE CHUNG<br/>
Get this on the air!</p><p>BEE 1<br/>
You got it. Stand by.</p><p>BEE 2<br/>
We’re going live!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
The way we work may be a mystery to you, because making honey takes a lot of bees, doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you something about a small job. If you do it really well, it makes a big difference. More than we realize! To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to doing what we do best: working together. That’s the bee way! We’re not made of Jell-o! We get behind a fellow! Black and yellow!</p><p>ALL BEES<br/>
Hello!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Left, right, down, hover.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Hover?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Forget hover.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You know what? This isn’t so hard! Beep, beep, beep, beep! Barry! What happened?!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Wait a minute, I think we were on autopilot this whole time!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
That may have been helping me…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
And now we’re not!</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Huh. Turns out I cannot fly a plane!</p><p>LOU<br/>
All of you! Let’s get behind this fella! Move it out!</p><p> </p><p>POLLEN JOCK<br/>
Move out!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Our only chance is if I do what I would do, and you copy me with the wings of the plane!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You don’t have to yell!</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’m not yelling! We happen to be in a lot of trouble here!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
It’s not a tone, I’m panicking!</p><p> </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I don’t think I can do this!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Vanessa, pull yourself together. Listen to me! You have got to snap out of it! </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You snap out of it!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
You snap out of it!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You snap out of it!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
You snap out of it!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You snap out of it!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
You snap out of it! You snap out of it!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You snap out of it! Hold it!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Why? Come on, it’s my turn.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
How’s the plane flying?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I don’t know… Hello?</p><p>LOU<br/>
Hey Benson. You got any flowers for a happy occasion in there?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
The pollen jocks!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
They do get behind a fellow.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Black and yellow.</p><p>LOU<br/>
Hello? Alright, you two, why don’t we drop this tin  can on the blacktop?</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
What blacktop? Where? I can’t see anything, can you?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
No, nothing. It’s all cloudy.</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Come on, you’ve got to think bee Barry!</p><p>BEE 1<br/>
Thinking bee!</p><p>BEE 2<br/>
Thinking bee!</p><p>ALL BEES<br/>
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Wait a minute! I think I’m feeling something! </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
What?</p><p> </p><p>BARRY<br/>
I don’t know, but it’s strong, and it’s pulling me, like a twenty-seven million year old instinct! Bring the nose of the plane down. </p><p>ALL BEES<br/>
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! </p><p>MAN<br/>
What in the world is on the tarmac?</p><p>DITCHWATER<br/>
Get some lights on that!</p><p>ALL BEES<br/>
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Vanessa, aim for the flower. </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Okay…</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Cut the engine.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Cut the engine?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys?</p><p>LOU<br/>
Affirmative.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Good, good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! You ready, boys? Full reverse!</p><p>LOU<br/>
Spin it around!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Not that flower, the other flower!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Which flower?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
That flower.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
I’m aiming at the flower! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt! I mean the giant black and yellow pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Move forwards, nose down, bring your tail up, rotate around it…</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Oh, this is insane, Barry!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
This is the only way I know how to fly.</p><p>DITCHWATER<br/>
Am I koo-koo-kachoo or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Get your nose in there, don’t be afraid. Smell it… Full reverse! Easy, just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! </p><p>MAN<br/>
Come on, already!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Yes! No high-fives!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Right. </p><p>ADAM<br/>
Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? </p><p>BARRY<br/>
What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius, man, genius!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
Thank you.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
But we’re not done yet. Listen everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen of the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this! If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! So what do you say? Are we gonna be bees? Or just Museum of Natural History keychains?</p><p>ALL BEES<br/>
We’re bees!</p><p>BEE<br/>
Keychains!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Then follow me! Except keychain!</p><p>POLLEN JOCK<br/>
Hold on, Barry. Here, you’ve earned this. Yeah!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Yay!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I’m a pollen jock! And it’s a perfect fit! All I gotta do are the sleeves! Oh yeah.</p><p>BEE MOM<br/>
That’s our Barry.</p><p>BOY<br/>
Mom! The bees are back!</p><p>ADAM<br/>
If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I have a feeling we’ll be working late tonight!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Keep the change and have a great afternoon! Can I help who’s next?</p><p>MAN<br/>
Uh, right here.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved! </p><p>MAN<br/>
Sure. </p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Don’t forget these.</p><p>COW<br/>
Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me! And I don’t see a nickel! </p><p>BARRY<br/>
Uh-huh, uh-huh. </p><p>COW<br/>
Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat!</p><p>BARRY<br/>
I had no idea.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Barry. I’m sorry, have you got a moment?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate here will be able to help you.</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Sorry, I’m late.</p><p>COW<br/>
He’s a lawyer too?</p><p>MOOSEBLOOD<br/>
Ma’am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase!</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order for a wedding and I can’t get them anywhere.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who’s next? Who’s next?</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Alright, scramble, Jocks! It’s time to fly.</p><p>VANESSA<br/>
Thank you, Barry!</p><p>KEN<br/>
OH! That bee is living my life! </p><p>MAN<br/>
Let it go, Kenny.</p><p>KEN<br/>
When will this nightmare end?</p><p>KEN<br/>
Let it all go.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Beautiful day to fly.</p><p>POLLEN JOCK<br/>
Sure is.</p><p>BARRY<br/>
Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office.</p>
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